You know you are in the third trimester when...
...you spend more time at night on the toilet than you do in the bed! seriously...I have to get up and pee about every hour to 2 hours in the middle of the night lately!
...it has become an Olympic sport to shave your legs.
...your husband looks at you and says "Wow, babe. You really are pregnant!" yes, dear. I have been pregnant for 7 months now...
...you go to the bathroom when there is one nearby "just in case"
...you drop something in the floor and have to think about whether it is really important enough to pick up.
...your husband is getting in practice for the baby...by putting on your socks and shoes every day!
...it takes 5 minutes to get turned over in bed, and by the time you are comfortable again you realize you have to pee!
...elderly people off to stand and give you their seat (for example, while you are waiting to be seated at your table when you go out to eat)
...you can no longer take that tiny but awesome parking space that you just KNOW you could squeeze your car into because you know you can't squeeze YOURSELF out of the car door or between the two cars! Forget "sucking it in"...
...you can't watch commercials on TV anymore because the food ones always make you have ridiculous cravings.
...you cry over everything. Especially food and anything to do with the baby.
...every time you cry over something ridiculous your husband comforts you but says "you are so pregnant, dear"
...every time you make a grimacing face or groan your husband freaks out and says "is everything ok?!?!?!? are you sure?!?!?"
...EVERY person you come across in public asks when your due date is. And then they either follow up by saying "wow you look like you are about to POP!" or "really? There is no way you are that far along!" The other option is that they tell you some horror story about the birth of their child or when they were about as far along as I am. I work at a dance wear store and as you can imagine, most of our customers are women and children. I am sure you can also imagine that almost every single customer that I help asks me about the baby. Quite entertaining.
...it takes you 2 tries every time you get out of the car or off the couch or out of bed.
This is too funny! My favorites are the shaving is an olympic sport and all the ones about always having to pee! When I was pregnant, there was more than one occasion where I would leave my office to go pee, walk ALL the way to the front of the store to go to the bathroom, pee, then head back, make it half way across the store, realize I had to pee again, turn around, go to the bathroom, pee again, walk back to the back get all the way to receiving, realize I had to pee again!!! By the time I finally make it back to my office it had been 20 minutes and everyone was wondering if I had left because I was in labor!
ReplyDeleteDanielle Seitz
Oh sweet crap, I'm screwed... :) Thanks for the warning! Love that you keep it real...and funny!
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